Why I Hate Friday Nights

In the idealized vision of motherhood I had before I had children, I was a perfect mother. I was never going to be annoyed with my children, I would have endless patience, and I would serve them lovingly handcrafted dishes at every single meal.

Alas, I gave birth to real children with actual personalities, and motherhood did not suddenly instill reserves of patience. I can be short-tempered, easily annoyed, and impatient. And I do not have the time or the energy to make a great dinner every night.

Friday nights are particularly tough. I pick up the boys at 5:15 and I have a commitment at 6:30. In those 75 minutes, I need to get the boys fed and get to my commitment. A couple of years ago, I took my kids to Burger King for dinner. I had no idea that I was starting a tradition I would come to despise.

The key problem is that the boys and I have completely different goals when we go to Burger King. I want them to eat dinner. They want to get new toys and play. It's stressful when all they want is the cheap unsafe, inappropriate toy that's hidden in the bag, and all I want is to get some food in them so that I don't have to deal with the bedtime hunger tantrum.

I find myself in the absurd position of demanding that they sit down and eat their chicken strips and fries. I hold the toys hostage until they've consumed a certain portion of the food. The reality is that they don't like the food, and I don't feel good about feeding them nutritionally worthless, and perhaps damaging, food. I get resentful because I'm paying for food that gets thrown away, and they get used to demanding and receiving more toys.

The toys create their own set of problems. We're adding two toys a week to the already ludicrously large toy collection. They often don't get the same toy, so they wind up fighting. And the toys themselves often promote age-inappropriate things. I spent much of this summer refusing demands to see Indiana Jones and Iron Man, both of which were heavily promoted at Burger King. Iron Man was rated PG-13, but was heavily marketed to little kids through fast food tie-ins and with television advertising on kids' channels.

I'm tired of the Friday Night Struggle. Tonight, I'm doing something different. I'm going to pick the boys up a little early. I'm packing a toy treat bag of a few Hotwheels, a bunch of Zoobs, a deck of GoFish cards, and some dominoes. We're going to go to Pasta Pomodoro, where the boys actually like food I feel good about - they even have vegetables! Before we go, I'm going to read up on strategies to counter kid-marketing, and see if we can have a real conversation. Maybe tonight we'll have a Friday night we all enjoy.